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If life just got hard, chances are you just leveled up.  Leveling up refers to when you do things to improve your life in any area.  It is like in a video game.  Once a level gets too easy you “level up” to the next level where everything is harder.  But you are there, because you are ready.

What I am about to tell you is not just my story.  It is everyone’s story.  It is the human experience. It is the uncomfortable yet illuminating story of expansion.  It is the messiness of the caterpillar turning into the butterfly.  It is your story too.  And it ends well.  

Watch the video below or just keep reading!

The end of 2018 brought a lot of awesome things for me:  My business did a 180 with my new coach and awesome new group of inspiring women with whom I connect regularly.  I traveled to England for the first time (and saw two Beatles on stage at the same time while connecting with friends from all over the world).  I had family and friend gatherings.  I ate yummy food.  It was all amazing, and I welcomed it with an open heart! 

Throughout all of it, something no-so-good was going on as well.  I was not feeling well.  I was going through this thing where I was getting nauseas almost everyday.  I would feel the need to eat something semi-unhealthy (I realize my version of unhealthy is completely different from my husband’s) to keep going.  Or sometimes it would get so bad that I would resort to anti-nausea medicine (anything to get me through it).

I do not know if any of my readers are nausea thrivers or current sufferers, so let me know if you can relate.  When I am nauseas, my thoughts race.  I want to cancel everything I have planned for the rest of my life, because I will never make it feeling that way.  It sucks.

So this year on Christmas Day, I was having an amazing day at home with my husband when I felt myself freaking out.  It was awful.  The tv was making me nauseas.  Everything was making me nauseas.  I have felt pretty severe anxiety my entire life, but I never had panic attacks.  This was not a panic attack either, but it felt close.   I was not worried about anything specific, my thoughts just were jumping around like crazy (more like worrying about 1200 things at once but not being able to focus long enough to know what any of them are), and the nausea!  Oh the nausea!  It is hard to know which came first, the chicken or the egg (racing thoughts or nausea?).

It just felt the Christmas day was the peak of it all.  And now I’m glad it happened, because it forced me to take a look at some things (more on what I did to help it next week).

So here are the things I know are true:

  1. Medical Issues.  

There was obviously some medical stuff going on with me with which I am now dealing with my doctor.

  1. Strange Energy

I felt very validated recently to hear that other people felt the energy was super weird in December, especially in the social media/instagram world.  We are all spiritual beings having a human experience, so we are all affected by this energy.  I believe the fact that I wasn’t feeling well added to this strange energy added to me feeling worse physically.  

So on top of already not feeling well, this energy did not sit well with me and made me feel physically worse.

(To me, this is how this energy felt:  I was doing things that I don’t normally do like comparing myself to others.  It seemed  like there was a lot of ranting posts, and sometimes I made them about me when they weren’t.  I was making things personal.  I felt super sensitive to everything everyone said.  I was seeing the darkness in everyone.  It felt scary and kind of depressing.  I did recognize what was happening though, and I actually feel I handled it well looking back.  We cannot change that we are having the human experience.  We learn to navigate through it though.)

  1. Anxiety, My Friend.

There is a reason why Simon and Garfunkel sang, “Hello darkness my old friend.  I’ve come to talk with you again.”

Every time I level up in my business or life, the anxiety likes to creep in.  And it loves illness/weakness/ tiredness.  So what happens is I find my peace.  I figure it out.  The more inner peace I find, the more risks I take, and the more beautiful my life gets.  And then every time I level up, I am faced with ghosts of the past.  My inner mean girl surfaces.  My ego says to me,  “Who are YOU to help anyone?  You’re a mess!”

I had some major leveling up in almost every area of my life at the end of this year.  So it makes sense that old demons were trying to resurface, and the ego was trying to show its ugly head. 

Like I said at the beginning, this is not just my story.  It is everyone’s story.  Every time you level up in your career or personal life, old demons and fears you thought you took care of try to return.  Everyone has fear that is not real, and our human brain is not wired to make us happy.  This is why we need coaches.  They straighten us out and show us our demons for what they are, pathetic attempt to keep us down.  I, for one, do not want to go it alone.  The life of expansion is not for the faint hearted.

We need like-minded friends and mentors to hold us to our highest light, to show us our potential, and to exorcise any demons that come up, because they will come up.  

These mentors remind us of what we already know but have forgotten, because we will forget.  Unfortunately, many people forget who they are and give up on their dreams.  The world we live in today is a world of thrivers.  That is why life coaches are so popular now.  We are so lucky to be a part of this change.

I also want to challenge you to look at any issues you are facing in your life right now in a different way.  If you feel like you are faced with challenges that you thought you took care of in the past, they could be resurfacing because you, too, are leveling up.  See how this changes our perspective?  It changes the meltdown from something negative to something positive.  Be grateful for the meltdown.  Your higher self awaits.  First she needs to shed her skin.

Your ego will tell you, “See I told you so.  You haven’t changed!  You never will!” when that is not true.

When I look back on my entire experience, I am amazed with how well I handled it.  The person I was five years ago would have had a meltdown on top of the meltdown.  She would have freaked out about the freak out.  She would have been sick about the sickness.  The person I am today knows deep down that all is well.

The good news is, this story ends very well, and I came out of all of this better than ever!  I am so excited about 2019.  My husband and I keep talking about how this year is going to be our best ever (and we have had some awesome years).  

This post turned out a little long, so I decided to break it up into two parts!  This week I talked about my (and your) crucifixion.  Next week I will talk about my (and your) resurrection!  

If you ever felt old demons surfacing, and if you are interested in the life of expansion, please stay tuned!  Also, I am going to talk about a new kind of vision board for 2019, how to focus and not get sidetracked from what you want this year!

Next week I will talk about how I dealt/am dealing with what happened, and how I am finding room to focus on creating my best life for 2019 (it has been ultimate magic so far), and how you can do the same!

To celebrate my resurrection, I am holding 3 new spots for individual clients (4 session for $333!)  please click here to apply and to receive a free gift!  

Love to you all!

Next week – How To Connect With Yourself Again and Find Your Vision, Values, and Focus for 2019!

P.S.  One of the most interesting things that happened was throughout this time, I got a new oracle card deck called, Work Your Light, by Rebecca Cambell.  These are beautiful cards.  The first 6 out of 8 times I pulled a card, I received the above card, The Priestess.  The message behind this beautiful card is for me, and it is also for you.  It says you are ready to lead.  It’s message is to not wait for what you view as perfection.  No one wants a perfect angel leading them.  Who can relate to that?  Show up as yourself, even when you feel like a mess.  We need more people leading with love, and  you are part of this movement.


Peace and Love,

Your Fab Life Coach,