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How to think when you backslide into old patterns

Have you ever felt like you had it all together, then something bad happened and you felt like you were back to square one? You felt like all the work you did was lost. For instance, maybe you are working on your mental health. Maybe you are working on having less anxiety, less depression, or less angry outbursts.

Or we could frame that more positively. Maybe you are working on more peace, more joy, and more calm.

And then, something happens. You lose it. You have an angry outburst. You have a panic attack. You feel more depressed. You cheat on your diet. Some old pattern reappears.

And you think, what am I even doing? All that self-development work I did. Seeing that therapist or coach, journaling, affirmations, yada yada yada. Maybe none of it works. Maybe nothing I do works. Maybe I’m actually broken. Maybe I am worse off than ever.

That kind of thinking is NOT helpful. Believe me, I have been there.

And I have good news! Feelings are not facts! Just because you feel like you are back to “square one” doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because you feel like you are worse off than ever, doesn’t mean it’s true. Just because you feel fat, doesn’t mean you are fat. Do you see what I mean?

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The energy of The Universe is forward moving. You couldn’t get back to “square one” if you tried. You do not need to be comparing yourself to your past-self. Your present and future self deserves your full attention, and she is doing pretty great.

If you did backslide into an old pattern, it’s okay. Maybe what you were doing before wasn’t sustainable. All the spiritual teachers say that everything that is inauthentic (not connected to Love) will fall. Maybe it’s time to make doubly sure that you are leading with Love instead of Fear. Love is your protection right now. Love will make you strong.

Or maybe things aren’t what they seem. Start actually keeping track. Mark on your phone calendar the last time you feel you backslid. Maybe it feels like last week, but it was actually last month. Maybe you have made progress, and you are not giving yourself credit for it.

I think many of us have thought about trying to get back to who we were before the pandemic. That can’t happen. We don’t want it to happen. If we go back, we lose our lessons. We want to move forward into an even better future with the lessons we learned behind us. Sometimes I think of myself standing on a mountain with all the lessons underneath me. We all have climbed mountains of lessons.

You are amazing just as you are right now. If your past-self was calmer, skinnier, healthier, more wrinkle-free, or whatever, it’s okay. You are stronger today than you were in the past. If that means a couple extra pounds, or a couple more wrinkles, bring it on! Our beauty ideals are changing with the times. You are FREE to be you.

So let’s move forward into a better today and tomorrow. Compare equals despair, and that includes comparing to your past-self. We need your present-self just as you are. And for what it counts, I think you are better than ever.

All My Loving,

Your Fab Life Coach,